What Once Was Lost
by Rhysati
Summary: Just after the Scanran War, Keladry of Mindelan vanished without a trace. Tortall searched long and hard, but they finally gave her up for dead. Now, nineteen years later, she's back, and it's the beginning of the end for the old ways of life for the EL
1. Character Guide and Glossary

It isn't necessary to read this through thoroughly in order to understand the story. It's simply for reference's sake, and will be moved to the end of the story upon completion.

Rhys

What Once Was Lost

Cast of Characters

_A'bac Sarainak_

_-captain, DRN, CO, _Jupiter

_Sir Alanna of Pirates Swoop and Olau_

_-called the Lioness, King's Champion, lady knight_

_Alec Bremen_

_-regional governor, Columban_

_Aneva Liskmae_

_-supreme admiral, DRN_

_Badari Linch_

_-commander, DRN, chief intelligence officer, Sol Fleet_

_Calavont_

_-head of security, Governor's Estate_

_Cecone Tsutsa_

_-empress, United Devonille Regime_

_Corine Lenavia Stevan XXXIX_

_-queen of Orvana, supreme commander, UD3RO_

_Derayen_

_-captain, DRN, CO, _Lintara_, Eleventh Fleet flagship_

_Domitan of Masbolle_

_-sergeant, Third Company, King's Own_

_Flyndan Whiteford_

_-captain, 2ic, Third Company, King's Own_

_Hengemont Roboak_

_-admiral, DRN, flag officer, Sol Fleet_

_Jenka Selegitt_

_-admiral, DRN, flag officer, Eleventh Fleet_

_Jonathan of Conté_

_-king of Tortall_

_Sir Keladry of Mindelan_

_-called Kel, Protector of the Small, lady knight, ambassador, DRDC, official liaison to the Terrans_

_Lerant of Eldorne_

_-standard-bearer, Third Company, King's Own_

_Lisan of Avalanche Point_

_-squire_

_Sir Nealan of Queenscove_

_-called Neal, knight, healer, New Hope, Lisan's knight-master_

_Lord Sir Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak_

_-Knight Commander of the King's Own_

_Roald of Conté_

_-knight, crown prince, Tortall_

Glossary of Terms

2ic – second in command

Andaril Space Docks – largest repair station in known universe

anti-grav engine – atmospheric flight drives

assault cruiser – second-largest offensive vessel

attack cruiser – largest offensive vessel

byrn – UST week. TST 8 1/4 days, 198 hours. UST 6 suuths, 60 tiems

Calam – home world of the species Calami

Calami – insectoid species from Calam specializing in ship design and construction

crell – UST second. Equal to TST second

CO – commanding officer

Communications Hall – heart of a RNS's communications. Primary function, encrypt/decrypt

comuit – personal communication unit

dataplate – personal handheld data unit

Davonsue – home sorld of the species Devoinian, capital planet of the United Devonille Regime

defense cruiser – largest defensive vessel

Devonian – quadrupedal shapeshifting species from Davonsue

disteerium – diamond-steel alloy used t hull ships, nearly impenetrable

DRC _Anathom_ – courier ship for SC Stevan

DRC – Devonille Regime Courier

DRDC – Devonille Regime Diplomatic Corps

DRN – Devonille Regime Navy

Gel'ne'datt – arachnids from the planet Gel in the Meerchat galaxy

Glondi – unipedal species from Glond (HGE)

Heron – tripedal species from Heronaie. Notable members include Palaxin Vaughnj, Deon of the HGE, and Aneva Liskmae, Supreme Admiral (SA), DRN

Heron Galactic Imperium – Imperium, HGE, universal government encompassing over 200 galaxies

Heronaie – home world of the species Heron, capital planet of the Heron Galactic Empire

Heronian – citizen(s) of the HGE, regardless of species

holoimage – holographic image

holoplate – holographic handheld data unit

hoversled – cargo transport – size varies

inertial adjusters – engine component that compensates for inertia

kimyat – UST century. TST 15 decades, 150 years. UST 10 levks, 100 zneds

kimyatlec – centennial

Kyim Adar – Red Alert, highest tactical alert. Battlestations

levk – UST decade. TST 15 years. UST 10 zneds

magnetic shield – permeable shield that keeps air in and bay pressurized when bay doors are open in vacuum

mausquer – laser handgun

mausquer rifle – laser rifle

mediscan – handheld medican scanner, displays holoimage of patient

Meerchat – home galaxy of Gel'ne'datt, capital galaxy of Reiyshel'bahgehn

meng – UST minute. TST 2 minutes, 120 seconds. UST 120 crells

Meveere Adar – Yellow Alert, second-highest tactical alert. Battle eminent

MST – Mendari Standard Time. Equal to TST

murl – UST millennium. TST 15 centurys, 150 decades. UST 10 kimyats, 100 levks

murli - millenia

Praont System – System 66398, the only inhabited system in the Takcha galaxy

Prudia – home world of the species Prudian

Prudian – avian bipedal species from Prudia

RNS – Regime Navy Ship

RNS _Aenglit_ – stealth cruiser in the DRN Sol Fleet, Captain Mveris Jeyget, commanding

RNS _Jupiter_ – _Marak_-class attack cruiser

RNS _Pacific_ – defense cruiser in the DRN Sol Fleet, Commander Tengaly Mac'mec, commanding. Secondary flagship

RNS _Sanctuary_ – flagship of the DRN, largest military vessel in existence. Designed by SA Liskmae. Captain Bengveka Toukaman, commanding

RNS _Sol_ – attack cruiser in the DRN Sol Fleet, Captain Neryn Zaft, commanding

RNSC – Regime Navy Shuttlecraft

RNSC _Ganymede_ – _Jupiter_ stealth shuttle

Sanctuary Fleet – flagfleet of the DRN, numbering over one thousand ships

Separatist War – (so far) 3,000 year war between HGE and UDR. Began with Prudian Genocide

Sheook(1) – arachnoids. Bipedal/octapedal species from Sheook

Sheook(2) – self-aware planet, oldest living entity in the universe. Home world and creator of the arachnoid Sheook

slipspeed – the speed at which a vessel travels while in slipstream – actual velocity depends on the stream

slipstream – fastest means of space travel, consisting of seven known 'streams'

Sovereign Universal Kingdom of Reiyshel'bahgehn – Reiyshel'bahgehn, oldest and greatest universal government encompassing 3,000 galaxies

suuth – UST day. TST 33 hours, 1980 minutes. UST 10 tiems, mengs

_tahshak_ planets – diamond planets found only in the Takcha galaxy

Takcha – "The Mining Galaxy" known to defy laws of physics, home of _tahshak_ planets. Located due 'south' true of the Milky Way

tiem – UST hour. TST 3 1/3 hours, 200 minutes. UST 100 mengs

Trili – home world of the species Triliu

Triliu – marine quadrapedal species from Trili

TST – Terran Standard Time. Equal to MST

turbolifts – elevators

UD3RO – United Devonille Regime Refugee Resources and Operations

UNICOMNET – (Comnet) Universal Communications Network, designed and maintained by the Calami

United Devonille Regime – UDR, universal government encompassing over 70 galaxies, previously members of the HGE

UST – Universal Standard Time

vidscreen – visual communication screen

yanet – UST month. TST 4 weeks, 30 days. UST 5 byrns, 6 suuths

zned – UST year. TST 1 1/5 years, 28 months, 112 weeks, 784 days. UST 19 yanets, 95 byrns, 570 suuths


	2. Prologue

I had hoped to have more of this done by now, but it's been a _looooooooong_ school year, and my family moved to Las Vegas in the middle of it. Plus I had mono (we think), plus I've been healthy all of two weeks since then. I'm really sorry it's taken this long, but I assure you it's my priority when I don't have school and work and my health to worry about. I will be posting more of this within the next year (that sounds pathetic, I know, but it's better than making you wait until I've got it done, and the first chapter should be up within a couple weeks, actually). But they're going to be _very_ sporadic from here on out, because it's the middle of June and I'm still in school, and I start back up again in August, and various other things I'm going to have to deal with at home. Suffice it to say, life in my household has been very Brady Bunch-y lately. So without further ado, your post.

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Tamora Pierce. Most everything else and the plot are mine.

Rhys

What Once Was Lost

_**Prologue**_

Keladry of Mindelan was gone.

The news spread like wildfire in the wake of the Scanran War. According to Sir Merric of Hollyrose, the lady knight had taken Peachblossom and gone for a ride in the forest surrounding New Hope early in the morning. She'd just regained enough of Tobe's trust that he let her go alone, and she had told Merric not to expect her back for several hours. She had taken her sword, glaive, and bow, with a quiver of arrows, and wore her chain mail over her shirt.

Search parties had been organized in the late afternoon, but there was no sign of her until early evening. That was when a party stumbled across an arrow piercing a tree. Following back along its assumed flight path, they discovered an impromptu battlefield. It had been a battle the lady knight had lost.

Peachblossom was dead, shot in the head and chest by an unknown weapon. The old warhorse had been moved, as evidenced by the dark trail of blood leading from him to the place he had fallen. It seemed as though he had fallen on one of his mistress's attackers, for there was also a pool of _green_ blood, and the horse's right side was smeared with it. But aside from the horse, there were no bodies, and Kel's bow and arrows had been leaned up against him.

New Hope mourned, and couriers were sent to Fief Mindelan, Corus, and Steadfast. Tobe became the ward of Anders of Mindelan, though he was allowed to remain in the refugee camp-turned-village under the watchful eye of Saefas. There had been no body, and many hoped that she was still alive and would soon return. But days passed into weeks, passed into months, and as years started rolling by, even Domitan of Masbolle felt his hope slipping away.

She was never coming back.

xxxxx

_Bzzp_.

A long, lithe form twitched ever-so-gently in the padded armchair it was curled up on, and a dreamer's hazel eyes lifted from the book in its lap to rest on the computer console built into the wall on the far side of the room. The sternly-pretty visage scowled, and slender, scarred fingers put a slip of old-fashioned paper in the book to mark its place before closing it and setting it aside. The figure uncurled and rose from its nest, revealing it to be a tall, shapely human woman garbed in simply black trousers and a russet-red shirt, with shoulder-length brown hair pulled into a loose ponytail at the nape of her neck. Long, muscular legs carried her swiftly across the cabin to the console, and she depressed one of its many grey buttons. "Yes?" she asked with a soft voice that would have been well-given to poetry recitation, had she been able to find any that made sense when translated into her native tongue from the language to which she now lent her voice, called Unilang.

"_Ambassador Mindelan, Bridge. Admiral Roboak has asked me to inform you that we have just reverted to hyperspace, and to extend an invitation to join him on the flag bridge at your earliest convenience._"

She nodded, even though the comm. Officer could not see it. "Thank you, Bridge. Please inform the admiral that I shall join him shortly."

"_Very good, Ambassador. Bridge out._"

The woman was silent for a moment after the communication circuit was terminated, gazing unseeing at the console before her, thoughts and memories tumbling through her head like a Davonsue cyclone. She blinked, and turned to look behind her at the viewport, which now displayed the molten blue-green fire of hyperspace. She studied it for a moment, then turning again, this time to the door, and drawing a deep, fortifying breath, Sir Keladry of Mindelan, formerly Lady Knight of Tortall, now simply Kel Mindelan, UDR ambassador and official liaison to the Terran refugees, emerged from her suite aboard the RNS _Sol_ and set out for the flag bridge, to join her uniformed counterpart and give her wards a second chance; as always, even galaxies away from her home, the Protector of the Small.

xxxxx

**meep meep**: Sorry about the teaser. I just wanted to let people know that I am continuing Ruthless, after a fashion. And I wanted to give them a chance to digest all the lingo, because I won't be posting glossaries after each chapter anymore. Speaking of which, the glossary's been updated, if you want to take a look. Bunch of time conversions and whatnot, plus a few more important places/governments.

**annoyedpersonwhoisdeniedwhatsoundslikeagoodstory:** You'll still be waiting, unfortunately, but not as long anymore. I'm glad you think it sounds good.

**Allycatracy**: Yeah, I've been known to read a fic or two on occasion. Haven't had much time for it lately, though. If I have time, I'll drop in on it. Love and miss ya too! Tell everyone I said hi?

**Commander Rhade**: It's right here.


	3. The Ambassador, the Admiral, and the

My sincerest apologies to everyone who's been waiting for this. Life has been hectic this year, what with moving and buying a house and finishing _and_ starting school…I've had precious little time to work on WOWL, and to be honest, I lost the rough draft for the first four chapters for a couple months. But I've found two of them, so things should (hopefully) start coming together sooner (but don't hold me to that).

On a somewhat different note, I've only partially edited this – I haven't had the time to go over it as thoroughly as I'd like. If anyone would like to volunteer as beta…? It would be much appreciated, if only so I could get the chapters out faster, and for my own sanity. In the meantime, my apologies for any grammar or spelling mistakes – completely my fault and my bad.

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Tamora Pierce. Most everything else and the plot are mine.

Rhys

What Once Was Lost

_**Chapter One**_

_**The Ambassador, the Admiral, and the Guardian**_

Admiral Hengemont Roboak was a man who bore grudges until they started showing signs of old age. Kel had unfortunately discovered this the hard way. Military to the core, the Kronean admiral had deeply resented the implication that Kel, a mere diplomat, outranked him on his own flagship. He had treaded her with all the courtesy and respect due her 'rank,' but not before vehemently protesting her assignment to his fleet to both Supreme Admiral Liskmae and Second Minister Amotok, head of the DRDC, as well as Supreme Commander Stevan. All three had been firm, and he'd had no choice but to take her aboard, even though as an ambassador she was technically supposed to travel via a DRDC ship. She had done everything she could not to draw attention to herself and avoid stepping on his toes, choosing to remain in her suite unless eating or otherwise required to venture forth. She suspected that the admiral knew what she was doing, and so was actually able to swallow his pride and invite her to sup with him as custom demanded. But she also knew that both would be infinitely more comfortable once the first half of their mission was completed and she took command of her actual post, safely ensconced in the embassy on the planet's surface and out of harm's (and his) way, rather than in her suite aboard the admiral's command. But there was still much to be done before such could come to pass, and the task directly before her now was merely the first of them.

To all but the most scrutinizing eyes, Roboak was perfectly calm when she arrived on the flag bridge, buried deep in the gut of the massive attack cruiser. She pretended not to notice how the corner of his nearest eye twitched as he observed her set foot into the heart of his command, but did sigh internally. Honestly, did he expect her to usurp his command _here_, of all places, and at this late date, when she had made no such attempt any time previously? She knew better than to tick off her uniformed counterpart in the seat of his power and authority. Besides, the orders Second Minister Amotok had drafted for her had made it plain that she was not to act in the capacity of flag officer of the Sol Fleet, despite the fact that she was 'technically' its commanding officer.

Her mind gave another long-suffering sigh as she stepped forward to join the admiral where he stood before the main viewscreen, currently displaying the visual readouts from the _Sol_'s bridge viewports. Kel had never adjusted to traveling in any space other than normal. The visual alone was enough to make her queasy as she watched the molten fire of hyperspace rush up to and past her. She swallowed her discomfort, however, when the admiral finally chose to acknowledge her.

His was a short, curt nod, but his deep, rumbling bass voice was as polite as could be. Kel suppressed the urge to scowl, instead crafting her face into her third-best (the second reserved for politics, and the first for any contact or communication with beings she absolutely detested) of the Yamani masks that had earned her the nickname 'Lump' when she was a page, and then later '_Plictak_' – emotionless automaton – by her superiors and colleagues after her abduction. "Ambassador Mindelan. I am pleased you could join me," he said.

"The pleasure is all mine, Admiral Roboak." She could fake pleasure and politeness with the best of them, if the situation called for it. Unfortunately and rather unfairly, this one did.

His eyes showed his opinion of the likeliness of that statement, but he continued anyway, and Kel could not help but mentally bemoan the need to apply her diplomatic skills to a member of her government's own navy. "Bearmack Squadron reverted to hyperspace half a tiem ago. Their reports are just now coming in. According to them, the system is clean, and it is safe for all ships to revert to normal space."

Kel nodded, doing quick mental conversions. The universal time system was, in her humble opinion, decidedly skewed. Seconds, called crells, were still the same increment of time, but instead of twenty-four hours in a day, clocks were most often set to ten tiems a day. Since a tiem (pronounced shem) was about 3 1/3 hours, that meant a day (or a suuth, depending on which language you were using) was roughly thirty-three hours long. Each tiem was made up of one hundred mengs, the equivalent of two minutes, and each meng was made up of 120 crells. So if the squadron of recon ships permanently attached to the Sol Fleet had dropped down into hyperspace half a tiem ago, that meant an hour ago, and the fleet had been orbiting the system for the past fifty minutes, or twenty-five mengs.

"Your orders, then, Ambassador?" Kel firmly quashed a grimace, for the admiral's tone, if not his words, had been stiffly formal and still unable to hide his disgust and resentment at having to request her permission to bring the fleet – _both_ fleets – out of hyperspace.

But there was little she could do, for despite the fact that _her_ orders made it clear she was not to act in the capacity of commanding officer, _his_ orders required him to seek her permission before bringing either fleet, but particularly the refugee fleet, into a potentially hazardous situation, regardless of how safe the recon squadron said it was, which unfortunately included reversions into slipstream or normal space, where the fleets could be detected.

She considered the admiral for a moment, allowing none of her thoughts to be seen in her eyes, face, or posture, before finally nodding. "Bring us out of hyperspace, then, Admiral," she said softly. He nodded as well before turning and relaying her orders to his comm officer, Lieutenant Commander Shanki, who in turn relayed them to the rest of the fleet.

The Sol Fleet was relatively small as most universal fleets went, with ten each of attack, assault, and defense cruisers, plus screen, a medical frigate, two stealth cruisers, a single fingership, and a recon squadron composed of six ships. One hundred ten ships, all told. RNS _Sol_, an _Embriyn_-class attack cruiser and the flagship, was the largest vessel and crewed by nearly two thousand people.

But despite the number of ships, the total tonnage of the Sol Fleet was dwarfed by that of Refugee Fleet Terra One. RFT.01 was only comprised of forty ships, but the massive transports were crewed by five thousand and carried approximately two hundred thousand Terrans each. The eight million humans were nearly all that was left of their race, just a few short years ago numbering ten billion. The _Embriyn_-class attack cruisers were the largest military vessels commonly employed in the universe, but it would take over one hundred of them to equate the carrying capacity of just one of the massive _Aldebaran_-class transports. Because they were so large, there were very few of them in commission, as they weren't very practical for most personnel transfers. Most navies preferred the considerably smaller _Venglet_-class transports, commonly referred to as beetleships, whose carrying capacity was only about ten thousand. RFT.01 contained nearly all of the _Aldebarans_ in the DRN.

A single ship reverting from hyperspace to normal space was a sight to see, the forward shields tearing a hole in the wall between the two in order to slip through. The tear could be detected for thirty light-minutes, and could be seen with the naked eye from as far as ten million klicks. The ship would seem to literally be engulfed in flames of blue-green, and hyperspace would trail after the departing ship until the tear resealed itself, barely even a nanosecond after the ship cleared it. But two fleets as large as Sol Fleet and RFT.01, along with the twenty-five supply vessels servicing both and the forty beetleships accompanying them for the sole purpose of transferring the Terrans from the _Aldebarans_ to the planet, would create a tear that could be detected for two light-years, and wouldn't reseal until two minutes after the last ship cleared it.

It was for that reason that fleet admirals usually approached a system in hyperspace where it was undetectable, then rapid-translated up to slipstream and then back down to normal space, because while ships in slipstream could be detected by ships in normal space, a reversion from slipstream to normal space, while even more visually spectacular than a hyper-normal reversion, was completely undetectable, unless the sensor tech realized that the ship they were tracking was no longer traveling at slipspeed. Most rapid-translations were so quick that unless one was specifically watching for it, one wouldn't catch it.

But it would never do for the helmsmen to get out of practice, Kel though with a very private smirk, and it was highly unlikely that anyone other than their own ships would be within the two light-years needed to detect them. And she wanted to give the system guardians as much advance warning as possible. Besides, rapid-translations were 'hard on the engines.'

She watched as the brilliant white tear suddenly blossomed in the viewscreen, the only sign that the Sol Fleet's point assault cruiser, the RNS _Freedom Fighter_, and her screen had just departed for normal space. It grew in size and brilliance as more and more vessels reverted, and then suddenly the RNS _Sol_ and her screen reverted back into normal space. Fire engulfed the viewscreen, and she waited as Roboak swept his gaze over the tactical displays. If anything was amiss, they'd be back in slipstream and then hyperspace before she'd be able to give the order, and she knew better than to distract him while he searched for any threat Bearmack Squadron had missed. But the blue-green flames began to fade, and as the seconds slipped past, she felt her body relax. As far as the admiral was concerned, they were safe, and that was good enough for her.

She listened quietly as he ordered his fleet into a screen about RFT.01 and began the twenty-minute journey in-system to a planet she hadn't seen in over fifteen years. The great, shining jewel of crystal blue oceans and molted green and brown continents that was the hope of the Terran refugees, Mendari IV – her own home world.

xxxxx

Admiral Hengemont Roboak, flag officer of the DRN Sol Fleet, watched his 'commanding officer' unobtrusively out of the corner of his eye as he directed his fleets in-system. Ambassador Kel Mindelan was decidedly reclusive for a diplomat, he'd noticed. The only times she'd ventured forth from her suite was when duty required it, or he'd invited her to sup with him. It had made things much easier for him, yes, but he'd found her behavior rather disconcerting. This wasn't the first time Second Minister Amotok had snagged him to ferry one of his diplomats, nor was it the first time Supreme Admiral Liskmae had made said diplomat the highest-ranking officer in the fleet, but it _was_ the first time Supreme Commander Stevan had stuck in her oar, to borrow a Terran phrase. He supposed there was enough reason for it, considering the fact that it _was_ all but the last of her kind that he was escorting, but something about her reply didn't sit right with him.

The feeling of oddness had only been amplified when he'd perused the ambassador's personnel file. Her species was registered as human, which had somewhat startled him despite her physical appearance, because it also said that she had been serving in the DRDC for the past twelve zneds (years). Yes, Supreme Commander Stevan had served in the UDR for nearly thirty zneds, but her situation was unique. Aside from Stevan (and apparently Mindelan), humans had not begun to serve until a zned and a half ago, after Terra had been quarantined. But that wasn't what had originally caught his eye. No, the thing that had made him return his drink to his desk when it was only halfway to his lips was her planet of origin – or rather, lack thereof.

It wasn't listed.

How could it not be? When she'd read her species registration, he'd felt a swell of sympathy for her despite his disappointment, and his eyes had automatically jumped to the planet of origin to read 'Terra' and offer silent condolences. Except it hadn't been there. Instead, a decidedly out of place N/A had greeted his questing eyes. N/A? What? N/A could stand for two things – Not Applicable or Not Available. A person was Not Applicable on if they had been born ship- or stationside to parents that had been born ship- or stationside, and to his knowledge, the Terrans hadn't had either long enough for such to be true in the ambassador's case, whose age in the file had been thirty-six. And even though it was quarantined, Terra was still 'available.' Every other human aside from her had listed their planet of origin as Terra, even Stevan. He'd checked. The only other time someone could list their planet as Not Available was when they had suffered amnesia and couldn't remember, and even that was rare, because it was usually then listed as the planet of origin of his species. But the medical portion of her file made absolutely no mention of her suffering amnesia, or any head injury of any kind. So what was going on?

He'd studied her every chance he'd gotten, and noticed that she carried a sorrow with her everywhere. It wasn't an all-consuming grief like most humans exhibited, so maybe she really wasn't from Terra. But it was a deep-rooted sorrow nonetheless, and he suspected it was mingled with something else. And she was also remarkably naïve for a diplomat who'd been serving with the DRDC for so long. Her mask (and it was very good) hid most of it, but her eyes showed perhaps more than she realized, and it seemed as though every creature she encountered aboard his flagship was a source of awe. Her child-like wonder, while it would have been endearing in most other situations, had grated on his nerves rather severely, not to mention made him begin to seriously doubt her capabilities.

But her reclusive behavior especially had him on edge, at the same time as it relaxed him. Diplomats weren't the shy type. Well…neither was she, he admitted, the few times he'd been able to observe her aboard the _Sol_. She'd been polite and sociable, but only when duty required her to be out and about. But she'd made absolutely no attempt to usurp him, give orders, or in any other way act in the capacity of her technical rank, as every other diplomat had. In fact, she seemed to have gone out of her way to stay out of _his_ way, and it made him distinctly uneasy. What was she up to? He also resented that she felt the need to be so careful, but rebuked himself for that thought, because why would she do that unless he'd made in necessary, and why would she bother unless she really wasn't out to take command? And if so, then this entire situation was his fault. His mood had steadily worsened as the journey wore on.

This time, however, her mask wasn't working quite as well, and he wondered at the mix of emotions he read there. Excitement, apprehension - was that joy? - and a couple others he couldn't identify warred for dominance in her eyes. None seemed to be winning. Now what? His orders had become rather muddled and vague when they discussed what was to happen when they actually reached the Praont System. The only things he'd been able to understand were that there were some sort of system guardians there, and they'd have to clear their mission with them, and that Ambassador Mindelan would know how to contact them. But Bearmack Squadron had reported an empty system – there was no sign of these system guardians. So then why was she excited?

He blinked and turned to face her fully when her head bowed, her eyes drifted closed, and she folded her hands in front of her. _Now_ what was she doing?

She stood that way for a meng, and suddenly the viewscreen went blank, to be filled a crell later with the head and shoulders of a massive bronze-skinned human man wearing an expression that was mostly stern, but slightly amused. He opened his mouth, and Roboak _knew_ that never before had a voice lent itself to Unilang that was a match for his. Not even one of the Supremes or the Empress had a voice as powerful as his. He imagined that if the great entity Sheook ever developed a physical voice, it would sound much the same.

"Welcome to my realm. I am Mithros, guardian of this place. Who are you that venture here?"

Those who could tear their gazes from Mithros turned them to Mindelan. Roboak felt shock explode in the back of his mind, for that was the most open he had ever seen her face. Joy, relief, and apprehension were all there, and there was a smile on her face. Granted, it was a small one, but it was a smile nonetheless.

"I am Ambassador Mindelan of the Devonille Regime Diplomatic Corps. This is Admiral Roboak," she gestured to the admiral, "my counterpart and the flag officer of the Devonille Regime Navy Sol Fleet, which escorts Refugee Fleet Terra One."

Brilliant yellow-gold eyes narrowed, and Roboak felt chills of fear course through his marrow. The ambassador had apparently said something to displease the guardian, but to his relief, he did not call her on it. Instead, he said "And what brings you into my realm, Lady Mindelan?"

Roboak resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Wonderful. The Mithros was as chivalrous as the Elder Age.

The ambassador was unfazed; apparently, she had encountered this sort of thing before. "A mission given to me by my superiors, Great Mithros. Some years ago, a world very similar to yours was attacked by the enemies of my allies. The inhabitants of that world, Terra, were human, as are the majority of the inhabitants of Mendari IV."

All conversation, respectfully quiet as it had been, stopped. Every single one of his officers joined Roboak in staring at Mindelan with varying degrees of visible shock. The admiral managed to restrained himself to widened eyes and flared throats. There were other humans in the universe? _How_? Where did they come from? Had the Terrans established an off-world colony? Why? Few were the races that felt the need to spread beyond their worlds of origin. And _when_?

But Mindelan was not a telepath, and the Kronean admiral did not voice is thoughts aloud, so his questions went unanswered. _For now, leastways_, he assured himself. They _were_ still half a tiem from the fourth planet out.

Continuing, the human ambassador said, "My allies and their enemies have been at war for a very long time, Great Mithros. But Terra had no part in it. In fact, aside from a select few humans who no longer dwelled there, Terra was completely oblivious to the war. Unfortunately, those select few, for the most part, served my allies in high places, and have proven so successful in their positions that they have incurred the wrath and perhaps fear of the Deon Vaughnj.

"And so Terra was attacked, but no with conventional weapons (well, for the most part, anyway). Instead, the atmosphere was laced with a poison designed to give humans the most painful death possible. At the time of the attack, Terra's population was ten billion. We managed to evacuate ten million, only a thousandth of the population. The poison has shown no signs of fading or dissipating, and the Conellian system has quarantined to for six hundred years.

"In the three years since ("one and a half zneds," she added for the benefit of the flag bridge officers), the Terrans have mostly remained aboard transports in orbit around Davonsue. But a starship is no place for a human to live out his days, and Supreme Commander Stevan, a Terran herself and head of the United Devonille Regime Refugee Resources and Operations, would like for their descendents to have a place to call home until the Conellian system declares that Terra is once again safe for human habitation.

"Also, Mendari IV is the only other world in the known universe to have spawned human life, and the human race is the only one to have done so. That makes it especially unique, and the UDR as a whole would like to keep it safe. Until now, Mendari's greatest defense has been its relative obscurity. I say relative, because anyone who knows anything about the Takcha galaxy knows that only one of its systems produced life of any sort, and that the system was Praont. But no one knows the species, not even Makarvey Praont, who discovered it."

Mithros nodded. "I recall the explorer. We gave him quite a scare." His eyes twinkled merrily. "He was most adamant in assuring us he would do as we 'suggested' (and I use that word lightly, mind you) when we told him not to make known the identity of the inhabitants of our realm. As an added precaution, however, we refused to allow him to land on any world in our realm, and erased from his vessel's databanks anything that might suggest who they were when he left. That was long ago, however, even as we measure time; several starbirths."

Roboak nodded slightly in understanding, even as inside he reeled. How casually this Mithros had answered one of universal history's greatest mysteries!

Makarvey Praont had been an avid Begearvin explorer murli ago. He had spent nearly three-fourths of his lengthy life (by Begearvin standards, anyway – he had only lived three hundred zneds) traveling from system to system to galaxy to galaxy. Fearing little, like most of his race, he had landed on planets sporting species and environments as varied as Heronaie's only-recently-turned toxic wastelands and tripods, Sheook's lush forests and arachnoids (not to mention Sheook itself), and the gas giant' Veirkrobae's nitrogen-breathing, peace-living, child-like Veirkros, very similar to the fairies and sprites of human mythology. He was accredited with discovering and exploring more galaxies and planets outside the giant Sovereign Galactic Kingdom of Reiyshel'bahgehn than any other single creature.

He had been a studious note-taker, and had always gone to great lengths to find out everything there was to know about any given planet, system, or galaxy. Many of his notes were still referred to by scientists and historians alike. They had been so numerous, and so accurate, especially given the technology he'd had to work with, that the Universal Association of Scholars and Historians had declared them a universal treasure, making the already well-known explorer a household name. It wasn't often that the UASH declared the works of a mere mortal creature a universal treasure. So widespread was his renown that things had been named after him left and right, not the least of which being the Makarvey Galaxy, his first recorded discovery, and the Praont system, his last.

Scholars had been baffled by it when the explorer had published his notes on the system over nine hundred eighty thousand years ago, and remained so to this day. His notes on every other system in Takcha, as well as those regarding the galaxy as a whole, had been overflowing with information, belying his excitement over and fascination with the galaxy that defied the laws of known physics. And nothing could have concealed his wonder and thrill when he realized that a system in that galaxy had spawned life. But when he actually reached the Praont system, his notes had become uncharacteristically brief, filled to the brim with speculation, and noting at all about the system's inhabitants had been revealed. Oh, he hadn't skimped in the slightest when it came to describing the system and its planets – there were an unusual seventeen planets, twelve of them gas giants, with two asteroid belts separating the rocky planets from the giants – by he hadn't even hinted as to which planet was home to the sentient species. He had made a brief reference to some group of great beings that Roboak realized must have been the system guardians, but it was only to confirm that it was from them he had procured the rights to the _tahshak_ planets. (By law so ancient no one could remember who had written it (though many, Roboak included, suspected that it had been the Jek'takni, longest-living race, rarely seen nowadays), the worlds and resources of a galaxy belonged to the sentient races of that galaxy. The consequences of breaking the law were terrible: a race had done so, one, long before Praont's time – nothing at all was left of their civilization. It had been completely eradicated from the universe in less than seven suuths, and no one knew what had done the eradicating)

But nothing concerning the indigenous species could be found, and they could not go to investigate on their own, for Praont had gone straight to the Most Noble High Lord of Reiyshel'bahgehn and requested that the system be made off-limits to all. Curious and somewhat amused by the explorer's insistence, the Lord had agreed, and the Praont system had become restricted. Recently, some governments had questioned the validity and authority of the decree, as the Universal Kingdom's nearest borders were over three super clusters away, and Reiyshel'bahgehn had laid no claim on the system, but Most Noble High Lord Lia'nore'vat'i, many times the successor to the Lord who'd originally made the decree, had stood firm upon the Lord's decision, and no one dared face his wrath, for Reiyshel'bahgehn had been the most powerful universal government since time out of mind, spanning over three thousand galaxies. Empress Cecone herself had assured Roboak that they had Reiyshel'bahgehn's permission to be there, but it still made him uneasy.

He shook himself slightly and brought himself back to the conversation in time to hear Mindelan say "-a long time indeed for we mortal creatures. But the Empress and her Supremes are uneasy having it as open to attack as it is, especially if the Imperium were to find it. None of them truly believe they would defy Reiyshel'bahgehn so openly as to attack it, but they have not always acted sanely in regards to humans in the past.

"So they have decided to kill two birds with one stone, as it were. With your permission, they would like to establish a Terran colony here, and leave the Sol Fleet in-system to protect it." She stopped speaking, and Roboak was startled to realize she was actually done. Not that she was long-winded, but she certainly had a way with words, and he'd expected her to use a few more of them on the actual proposal. Yet at the same time as she had a way with words, she could also be politely, diplomatically blunt, as she had just so aptly demonstrated.

The flag bridge was silent as they waited for Mithros's reply. As they did, Roboak ran the conversation back in his mind. Something the ambassador had said at the beginning, coupled with the thoughts he'd had before and during, had caught his attention. What had it been?

A single sentence ran through his head, and his blood ran cold. _'The inhabitants of that world, Terra, were human, as are the majority of the inhabitants of Medari IV.'_

Hengemont Roboak was no fool. In fact, he was one of the more brilliant field strategists in the DRN. He knew it wouldn't be long before he was pulled from the field and put to work in an office dirtside somewhere, but for now he was here, in the Praont System, serving as Ambassador Kel Mindelan's flag officer.

Now he turned the powerful mind hiding behind the gentle, somewhat simple-looking face on the situation before him, and swallowed the urge to curse as it became ridiculously clear. The N/A on her personnel file; the secrecy surrounding the natives of the system; the ambassador's own comments.

She was from Mendari IV.

The simplicity of the conclusion was almost infuriating, although it was ironic and amusing at the same time. Where else could she be from (he pointedly ignored the fact that he'd asked himself that exact same question when he _hadn't_ known)? And how else would she know that the people of the Praont System, whose identity scholars had speculated over for tens of thousands of zneds, were human?

The guardian spoke, his grand voice forcing him away from his revelation. Roboak struggled to pay attention.

"We are aware of the conflict you call the Separatist War." Roboak hid a wince. Conflict? Was that what he called it? If he called a three-thousand-zned war a _conflict_, he shuddered to think of what _he_ called a war. "We are also aware of the poisoning of your Terra. Its sickness can be felt by all our kind. It will not be cleansed in a mere six hundred years." The Kronean _did_ shudder then, ever so slightly, and a chill ran up and down his spines. The guardian's voice was sad, first and foremost, but it also bleak, grim, and very, very dark. He nearly pitied any Heronian who wandered unknowing into Mithros's grasp.

Almost.

Mithros gathered himself and cocked his head thoughtfully at Mindelan. "You would not need the fleet, Lady Mindelan," he said almost conversationally. "None may enter, leave, or affect our realm without our knowledge and permission. The humans would be quite safe here."

For a brief moment, Roboak entertained the entirely random notion that Mithros was referring to himself using the royal 'we,' but dismissed it quickly. He'd referred to himself in the first person singular before. He glanced at Mindelan, and his earplates tightened in a frown. The woman had donned her mask again when she'd begun her speech/explanation, but this one seemed more effective that the one she used on him. Even so, he'd seen something flicker in her eyes for the briefest of instants, something dark and angry. And painful. But only briefly, and he had to take a crell to tell himself that yes, he _had_ seen that, it _had_ been there. But Mindelan, ever the diplomat, did not comment on it.

She said instead, "They may not be necessary, Great Mithros." Here Roboak had to fight not t show his shock. Even he, as difficult as he found it to read human faces and voices, could hear the tiniest of emphases she had put on the 'Great Mithros,' an emphasis that sounded just barely sarcastic. What in space? "But they would reassure the Empress and her Supremes. They do not know or understand your power."

"If that is what they wish, the fleet may remain." The guardian answered the ambassador civilly, but the admiral had a sinking feeling that he had caught the slight. Oddly enough, he seemed saddened by it, not angered. He stored that away for further thought.

"The Terrans may stay, then?" Mindelan asked.

Mithros nodded. "The Terrans may stay."

xxxxx

Yes, I know I'm not supposed to put answers to reviews here, but the reviews I have answers for came before that particular stipulation. After this, however, I'll be using the reply feature for everyone except the anonymous reviews.

**tortall princess:** I'm glad you think it grows on you. I've personally loved and hated it at various stages of its development, but I suppose every author feels that way about her work at some point in time…I'm not sure brilliance is the word I'd use, but I'm glad you think so!

**Poppin**: Yeah, sorry it's taken so long. But we're finally getting back on track. There may still be a while between updates, but I'm working on it. In regards to the glossary, I tried putting things in piecemeal, chapter by chapter, with the original story, but then I couldn't find it all myself. Yes, it's a reference, but I think I'll just leave it where it is for now, and when the story's done, move it to the end of the story, like Ms. Pierce does with _her_ glossaries. Good idea about the note at the beginning, though…no need to apologize. I'm glad you think I'm talented, and I hope I don't disappoint you in the future!

**DOMLUVR4EVER**: Well, she's back in the system, and should be back on the planet by the next chapter, but back to where Tortall _knows_ she's back? That's quite a ways yet…(if you want a sneak peek of sorts, check out the original, _Ruthless_)

For everyone else who reviewed (**maydayp**, **Commander Rhade**, and **Desatre**), thanks much, and I hope you keep reading!

Rhys


	4. Revelations

Again, my sincerest apologies for the lateness of this chapter. I found all of my notes and the rough drafts of several scenes (including this chapter) yesterday while looking for something else, and danced for joy. I'd thought I would have to start from scratch _again_! Updates will still be long, but they will be coming. In the meantime, please enjoy the latest installment!

This chapter is shorter than the others, and shorter than I had intended, but it came to a natural break and the stuff that came after just didn't quite fit the mood. On the bright side, chapter three should be out a LOT sooner than this one was.

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Tamora Pierce. Most everything else and the plot are mine.

Rhys

P.S. This would have been up sooner, but FF.N wasn't letting me upload anything for a couple weeks. Apologies.

What Once Was Lost

_**Chapter Two**_

_**Revelations**_

The lights in Kel's quarters were on their lowest setting. According to the ship's clocks, midnight had been a tiem and a half ago – say five and a quarter hours. Kel had been working non-stop with Mithros and some of the other Great Gods since the Sun Lord had agreed to let her wards stay, dispatching construction vessels from RFT.01 to locations on the planet, most on the far side of the world from the Eastern Lands. Aside form the lands where she had been born and raised, there was only one other inhabited portion of the planet, and the Terrans had steered well clear of those.

Except twice. Mithros and the Great Mother Goddess had both insisted that there be Terran colonies within easy riding distance of the Mendari, so that the colonists might observe the natives; the better to fit in when they finally got around to introducing themselves, Kyprioth, the Trickster, had said when he stuck in his oar. With the three of them ganging up on her, she'd had no choice but to concede, and two colonies had been establishes; one among the Teasai on the far side of the world, the other in the foothills of the Tusaine Mountains, near Fief Goldenlake.

She had been quick to decide that the Tusaine colony would be where they built the main embassy. All of the other colonies would have a greatly scaled down embassy, as well. But Kel would make her home in the Tusaine colony, in the land of her birth.

They had finished merely an hour ago, and Kel had sat in her dimmed quarters ever since, watching the blue and green jewel of a planet the RNS _Sol_ now orbited. Though it was the wee hours of the morning shipside, planetside, it was late afternoon, bordering on early evening.

A flash of silver light that was almost blinding in the near-dark cabin brought her head whipping around, and she nearly gaped when she saw Mithros himself standing in front of her door. What was _he_ doing here? All the time they'd negotiated for colony locations the gods had chosen to use the vidscreens. Kel had been grateful for that – after so long away from any mention of them, she didn't think she would have been able to endure nearly half a universal standard day in their physical presence. But the negotiations had been completed – ships had been dispatched to each location to begin construction. So why was he here _now_? And _what_ was he _wearing_?

That, at least, was a valid question. Never had she even _dreamed_ to see the god of war and law dressed so – dare she say it? – casually. Were it not for the yellow-gold eyes, and were she, say, Second Minister Amotok, she could have mistaken him for an ordinary human. He was dressed simply in leather boots, forest green breeches and shirt, and a golden tunic with a forest green belt.

She blinked at him stupidly for a few scattered seconds, then abruptly gathered her wits about her and sculpted her face into a Yamani mask – her best one. "Good morning, Great Mithros. What may I do for you?"

She was pleased to note that her voice was level and calm. There was no trace of shock, anger, confusion, or bitterness. Or sarcasm. She chuckled mentally at that last one – Roboak had kept her in his day cabin for at least fifteen minutes while he expressed his displeasure at her slip on the flag bridge.

He studied her silently for a moment, gold eyes unreadable, and the ambassador experienced a decidedly uncomfortable sinking sensation. When he spoke, his voice was as emotionless as his eyes, and had been turned down to mortal levels. "I would like to speak with you."

Kel nodded and waved him to the armchair across from her own window seat. He settled himself easily, and as he did, she pondered her life since she had left.

The past ten years had been the hardest she'd ever had to endure, even more difficult than the years he'd spent in Tortall since her decision to become a knight. And if what the Sun Lord had said the day before was true, then, though he was not to blame, he had been fully aware and had allowed it.

She had been taken by surprise when she stumbled across the Doughti scouts on her morning ride ten years ago. She had yet to figure out why the sparrows had not warned her of them. The clearing had been still and silent for nearly thirty seconds, both sides completely shocked at the sight of each other. The battle that followed had been depressingly brief. The next she had been aware, she had been laying on a bunk in a smuggler's freighter.

Shortly afterwards, the smugglers had turned her over to Captain Aerbrekk of the RNS _Prudia_, the dreadnaught escorting a Regime merchant caravan back to Davonsue. Kel had been confused almost out of her mind, and terrified, so Aerbrekk and the other Devonians in his crew had taken charge of her.

Large as a dreadnaught was, it was still a small vessel, and only the captain and his higher-ranking officers had their own quarters. Everyone else slept in berths set up like army barracks. Since _Prudia_ had been carrying a full load of creatures that looked absolutely nothing like her, Aerbrekk had berthed her in his own quarters while he moved in with his exec. She never left those rooms, and she was tended solely by the captain and other shape-shifting Devonians who had taken on human form.

When they reached the capital planet of the United Devonille Regime, Aerbrekk had personally escorted her to the offices of Supreme Commander Stevan, United Devonille Regime Refugee Resources and Operations.

Lady Corine Lenavia Stevan XXXIX, reigning but absent Queen of Orvana and Empress of the Baranone Waters (plus a mouthful of other titles that Kel _still_ couldn't remember) had been a sight for sore eyes. The Devonians had tried hard, and she'd greatly appreciated their efforts, but few indeed where the humans who stood seven plus feet tall. The five foot seven, blonde-haired, blue-eyed human woman was a quiet, calm woman who nonetheless had a commanding presence that drew the scared young woman to her like a moth to flame.

Lady Stevan had been bewildered when Kel told her she'd never heard of Earth, America, England, Russia, Australia, or any of dozens of other places she'd named. She'd even called up images and maps from the holoplate set in her desk. But the lady knight had recognized none of them.

Baffled, the queen had asked Kel to tell her everything she knew of her home. Great had been her wonder when she realized that Kel really wasn't from her own home world of Earth – Terra – but a whole different world entirely. That humans existed elsewhere! It had never happened before!

Unfortunately, Kel didn't even know what the planet as a while had been _called_, much less what galaxy it had been in or where it was. They started their search in the Embriyll Spiral Galaxy, where the smugglers had freed her from the Imperium scout ship, about four galaxies east true, universal relative, of the Takcha galaxy, but it had still taken them three years, and only because one of the scout ships had stumbled across a Reiyshel'bahgehn assault cruiser division plus screen on its once a month patrol of the Praont system and gotten permission to search the system.

By that time, Kel had gotten quite well acquainted with the Separatist War, the bitter struggle the UDR had been waging against the Heron Galactic Empire (Imperium) for darn well near three thousand years. As time passed with no sign of her much long-ed for home, Kel had grown more and more consumed with a desire to lend aid. She had finally set for herself a time limit; if her home had not been found in the next six months (her months), then she would throw in her lot with her friends and strive to bring the colossal war to an end.

She knew she would never be able to serve where she most wanted to, on the front lines – though she learned much in her two and a half years at the capital, it was not near enough to do battle, and in any case, their front lines spanned galaxies, not fields – so she spent those six months studying their politics, emersing herself in every political tidbit she could lay her hands on. Lady Stevan had been a useful resource in that area – though she served the Devonille Empress in a military capacity, she was still a queen in her own right, and was one of the empress's closest friends and advisors. Kel also studied universal history, choosing to wait to study individual galactic and planetary histories until after she knew what it was she would be doing.

Six months came and went with no sign of home, so she joined the Devonille Regime Diplomatic Corps as simply Kel Mindelan, leaving behind her title, her knighthood, and all that remained of her past save her name.

A little over a week later, the scout ship arrived with the news that they'd found her home.

She'd been torn, then. She wanted to go home so badly! But she'd thrown in her lot with the Regime, decided in her mind, if not yet in her heart, that she would fight with them in whichever way she could, and would stick to her self-appointed task through thick and thin, no matter what came her way. In the end, that had decided her, and she'd stayed on with the UDR, serving if not quite eagerly, then certainly willingly and ably, with a determined mind, a steel will, and face of stone, and a broken heart.

She shook her head slightly and looked up to see Mithros studying her quietly. Embarrassed, she fought down a blush and said, "Forgive my inattentiveness, Great Mithros; I was woolgathering. You wished to speak with me?" Silently, she cursed herself. She hadn't done something _that_ clumsy in _years_!

Mithros nodded. "There is no need for the Great, Lady Mindelan. There is a good chance what I wish to discuss with you will prove upsetting, and I doubt you will be wanting to add honorifics if you choose to make known your displeasure."

Inwardly, the ambassador raised an eyebrow, but her expression did not waver. "Very well. I will call you Mithros, _if_ you agree not to call my Lady Mindelan. I relinquished my title long ago."

"So be it, Keladry." The god met her eyes squarely. "I wished to discuss with you the reasoning behind your departure from our realm."

Kel felt her throat tighten. He wished to _discuss_ it? She resisted the urge to snarl at him, telling herself that if the gods wished to giver her, a lowly mortal, an excuse for their actions – or lack thereof, in her case – then the least she could do was hear them out before 'making known her displeasure.' Instead, she said, "Reasoning?"

"We are not gods, Keladry, despite what we have made ourselves out to be," he said bluntly. Kel frowned slightly in confusion as he continued, "We possess god-like qualities when compared to the peoples of the Easter and Southern Lands, or the Makalrins, but only when compared to them. In truth, we merely exist on a different plane than you, one that makes such qualities commonplace."

It was all Kel could do to keep her mask in place. A Davonsue cyclone didn't even begin to describe the state of her mind. Not gods? Then what were they? Surely not planets, like Sheook. An image of Veralidaine Sarrasri flashed through her mind. Planets couldn't have children with people, could they? If they existed on a different plane, then how was Daine even possible?

She briefly thought on all she had ever heard of the theories of different planes of existence. Captain Aerbrekk, who'd kept in touch with his favorite human over the last ten years, had a younger sister who was a scientist, and was in fact one of the premiere minds toying with the idea. She had theorized that all planets, not simply Sheook, were sentient and self-aware, but that their minds existed on a different plane. She had similar theories concerning most celestial bodies. But they couldn't procreate with anyone on the mortal plane, could they?

Mithros continued, and she latched onto his words desperately, absently proud that her outward appearance betrayed none of her inner turmoil. "For a great time, nearly hundreds of starbirths, we believed much as our wards did of Father Universe and Mother Flame. Long before the world you call Mendari IV was capable of supporting human life, my kind worshipped them as gods. Eventually, however, they revealed the truth to us. As we exist on a different plane that the mortals, so also do they exist on a different plane than we, one where time is not what you would call linear.

"The non-linear time of their plane make them clairvoyant as far as we are concerned. They see a great many things that we cannot even begin to comprehend, and they saw something that prompted them to unveil the truth. They told us that a great change would come to our realm, and a younger race would need our guidance, much as we had required theirs. They counseled that you must be kept hidden, so when others stumbled across our realm, we either sent them away with no memory or destroyed them."

He leaned forward and locked his yellow-gold gaze with her hazel one. "This great realm was not always devoid of life. As few as twenty starbirths before the explorer, there were three other species here. In your early years, you suffered frequent incursions by them. Finally, Universe and Flame told us that beings like us guided these other races, and that they intended harm for you. It was decided that they must be eradicated."

Kel felt sick. Their gods had wiped three different species from existence, simply because they threatened their humans? It reminded her unpleasantly of Vaughnj and his Terra-poison.

Mithros lowered his gaze. "What is easily decided is not so easily carried out. For nearly eighteen starbirths, we warred with the races and their benefactors. Only with the support of Universe and Flame were we able to defeat them and leave out realm untouched. The planets you call _tashak_ are the graves of that struggle, each entombing the essence of a benefactor. We felt the pain of their deaths as keenly as if we had died ourselves, and the pain has yet to fade. That is the punishment for warring with our own kind. So also did we feel pain when great Sheook was raped, and again when Earth was poisoned. Their pain shall never fade from our essence."

The great being was silent, and for a horrifying instant, Kel could see pain in his eyes. It was a pain she could not even begin to comprehend, a pain that would turn a mere mortal like herself to ash if she ever did more than glimpse it. The experience left her sweaty and trembling, struggling to draw precious air into her lungs.

After a moment, Mithros continued. "When the explorer arrived so shortly after our war, while we were only just beginning to recover form our wounds, we truly feared for your safety, for we could never have stopped a second assault of the same magnitude. But Flame came to us and said that this was the reason you needed our guidance. Flame told us to allow Praont to enter our realm, though he was to know nothing of you. Flame then told us to ignore the patrols, for they would guard you while we healed.

"Then Universe came to us and told us of your great conflict that you call the Separatist War. There would be no end, they said, unless the older races interfered. And so they told us to allow your abduction, for such would be the catalyst that would allow the older races to interfere. We did not wish to, for in our long vigil over you, none had ever touched the surface of our realm, but they insisted there was no other way.

"And so you were taken from us, and that was the first time in our existence the passage of years ever registered to us." He locked gazes with her again. "You were gone for only a short time, but we waited so long for you to returns to us. Your bitterness and anger saddens us, but we know the decision to relinquish it must be made by you. We can only wait."

He fell silent, and for a long time her quarters were just as quiet as he. Kel was reeling, and her face no longer bore her mask. Now it was simply plank, her eyes locked on his and showing such a mix of emotions that not even Mithros could discern them. Her oldest beliefs had just been calmly shattered as if he were discussing Scanran behavior patterns. No, she hadn't exactly clung to her belief in the gods during her years away, but they'd always been in the back of her mind, and when things had been rough, she'd lifted her worries to them in prayer.

She opened her mouth to speak, but found it paper-dry. She swallowed several times and cleared her throat, then said, "Why?"

To his credit, he didn't pretend not to understand her. "Because events are coming that will need your understanding. _Only_ your understanding, however," and his eyes carried clear warning. "The humans are not ready to know the truth of our existence yet. The Terrans, especially, will need us as the Mendari have us."

Kel nodded, and the room was again silent for several long moments. Finally she ducked her head and cleared her throat again, then said, "I think I need to be along for a while."

He said nothing, simply studying her for a handful of seconds. At last, he also nodded and stood. He hesitated briefly, but then the light flashed again, and he was gone.

Lower lip trapped between her teeth, Kel turned back to study her home. For long hours, the dim room was absolutely silent aside from the quiet hum of the ship at standby. Finally, as the sun dipped around the far side of the planet, the silence was broken by her quiet sobs.

It was the first time she'd cried in nearly three years.

xxxxx


End file.
